Despre filmarile la ,,The way you make me feel"- Tatiana Thumbtzen

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TT: The time had come when a slim Michael came walking out through an alley. this particular alley is the one that I run down in the video that is a 'dead end'. I stood trying to control myself and keep my cool. I could not look directly at him, but I could feel his presence within the group of people that surrounded him. His manager Frank Dileo, was to his left, and his photographer, Sam Emerson, was to his right. Michael stopped and stood five feet away from me. I could not believe the artist I most admired and loved stood just before me. It was more than a professional moment: he was the only one for me whom i secretly
held a big crush.

I just could not bring myself to look up at him! Instead, I focused on Vince Patterson who stood to my left. Vince greeted Michael and they shared a few words. I didn't know for a fact but sensed that the two had a rapport. Vince turned to me and introduced me to Michael. He said, " Michael, this is Tatiana, and Tatiana this is Michael." Michael extended his hand to me, and I extended mine. I looked into his eyes and managed a quick nervous smile. For some reason, I could not look into his eyes longer than a split second or two. His stare was so intense. His eyes were piercing right through my soul. Michael's presence was more powerful then words could ever express.

...

TT: The stylist and director had me go through the wardrobe. Although we agreed on the look the previous day, we tested other looks just to make sure we were satisfied with the wardrobe. We agreed on the black dress.


It was the exact look that I put together myself for the original audition taping with Leeland. There was only one difference in my dress and their dress. Danskin made mine and theirs was an expensive Azzedine Alaia that was priced at around (UNREADABLE).


The boots were mine, and the bracelets were too. I created my own look for the video and I was proud of that creative control, and that Michael liked what he saw. The only thing they added was something that I did not considered. It was a track of hair weaves to add more length to my own hair. They told me it was Michael's idea.

What was Michael planning to wear?

I remember asking him '' What are you going to wear?''.

He said in a sweet and soft voice, '' This is what I'm wearing''.

I felt so embarrassed because I appeared to be very overdressed compared to his costume. I thought , how silly, I am dressed up like a working girl and here he is dressed casually. I did not get it and I felt that someone needed to change. Since I liked my outfit, it should be him. However, when I was around Michael, I soon forgot about costumes, hair, or make-up. I did not care. I was in bliss. I assume that this boy genius knew what was right. After all, he had that video Midas touch.


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Once we started the routine I felt a little bit more at ease but the whole time I still felt as if I was dreaming

The day progressed and I flew higher and higher into the clouds.

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TR:How did the routine play out?

TT:In the beginning of the routine Vince went over the scene with me saying, ''Now Michael is going to sing live and when he sings his part you are to walk in this direction.''


I agreed and I knew my cue, but when the time came, no such luck. I went into shock. Michael is very powerful live. All I could think of was that he was so small and thin so where the hell does that voice come from? How did he do that?

As I stood in shock wondering all of this, Vince was screaming his his head off at me, saying, ''Tatiana, Go! React, Go, Go, Now!'' Finally, something snapped and I woke up. I thought, I have to perform as well.

I had a look on my face that reminded me of that Pepsi commercial. It is the commercial with little Alfonzo Ribeiro. It came out around 1986 or 1987. In the commercial, Alfonzo turns around and finds Michael standing behind him. He is full of shock, surprise and his mouth drops open.

After the initial shock, I was able to get on with my character. Then Michael yelled ''Hey'' to get my attention.

Then he starts singing ''You knock me off my feet, now baby.'' I start walking off ignoring him, but then a gang that did not let me pass through stops me. Michael follows me from behind continuing his pursuit.


TR: What happened at the end of your first day on the set? Did you talk to Michael before you left?

TT: Before going home he said, "Drive safe." I told him that I do not drive, I do not know how to. Someone drove me here.''

He said, "Tell the driver to be safe."

I said, "Okay, I'll tell him."

TR: What did you do when you get home?

TT: When I got home, I was so wired mentally that sleep was far off my mind.

For those four days, sleep and food were not a big part of my agenda. I was running on excitement and adrenaline. My normal weight of one hundred and one pounds was down to only ninety-eight pounds. Not such a big difference, but on my small frame a few pounds does make a diference. I looked forward to the next day as I had the first.

Were you less nervous then you were the first day?

Unfortunately, by next morning my nerves had not improved any.

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I got up, dressed myself, did my hair and make-up and I was off to the set. I could not wait to see Michael again. I never wanted this job to end.

TR: What did you and Michael talk about the second day of shooting?
Did you talk to the rest of the cast?

With both of us being extremely shy, we did not talk much at first. We did smile and stare at each other many times though. The wole crew was great and the writer David Banks was wonderful.It was a primo gig. It was the gig of "all gigs." Even the real gang members that he hired were pleasant. I guess being on a (unreadable) set can bring out kindness in almost anyone.

The one person that I became close to on the set was Michael's stand in Craig Parks. We sat and talked about how awesome the set was and how wild it was-being such a perfect replica of New York. We also talked about how the guys were real gang members.

I told him how excited I was to work with my idol. Craig had worked with Michael several times before. He told me about his experiences with Michael and how he loved practical jokes. The last days of the shoot with Michael for me had gotten better. Everyone became more relaxed and natural. That is when Michael and I shared a special moment. The icebreaker. This was the same morning that the director, treated me a way that I would have never expected.He took me by total surprise.

TR:What did the director do that surprise you?

TT: I reported to the set. I stood across from Joe waiting for his direction as he yelled at one of the grips


I remember thinking, my God, this is how he treats his people? That is terrible. I had no idea that mine was coming soon. As I started my routine, he snapped! I do not even know what I did to receive such treatment, not even this day.


He started yelling, '' You stupid fucking bitch? What's your fucking problem? Didn't you have your fucking coffee yet?" My eyes got big. my ears grew red and my heart became pained. I could not believe that he was treating me like this.

I stood frozen in my footsteps. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I was chocked up with so many emotions that I couldn't control the tears that were about to flow from my eyes. I heard him say '' Let me know when you are ready to work.'' I became determined not to let his negative aura get the best of me. I replied ''No, let me know when you're ready to work'' and I ran off the set.



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I ran into the dressing room and I cried for about five minutes. I poured out all the pain his words caused. A few of the guys and the stylists asked me what was wrong, and why I was crying. My emotions took over so I could not reply.

I just could not speak at all. I was balling my eyes and heart out to the extreme. Joe Pytka is known for this behavior, and I was slowly learning this. Someone told me he had a lawsuit against him because of it.


Cindy Crawford had admitted to his temperamental personality when she made her Pepsi Cola commercial years ago. She said he called models names like (Unreadable). She admitted to him calling others girls names, but never her. Of course he did not dare try to do this to Cindy Crawford. She was too famous!

I just could not figure out the mind-set of his treatment. I do feel that I can honestly say, I am and have remained humble throughout all the Hollywood weirdness. I feel that I am as real as they come. After all, I am only a human being.


He was physically abusive towards a grip. It was amazing to me that he treated me this way, and I could not believe that he worked with such negative energy. I mean people noted him to be the best at his craft.



TR:Did you get back to the set?


TT:Yes and when I reported on the set I was willing to forget about it. Just for the sake of professionalism, but I will never forget it.

It was surprising that Joe's attittude changed suddenly once I returned. He was a bit kinder.


TR: Why do you think her change his attitude? Do you think he realized what he did?

TT: I later learned that Sam Emerson watched him yell at me and went back to Michael to report it. Frank Dileo, was the one who spoke to Joe. Whatever he said, it helped, Joe never openly attacked me again. There were little comments like, "You're not a star! Tatiana Petitze, the model is a star''. Tatiana Petitze was a famous supermodel at that time. He whispered that in my ear. I thought this must be his way of making me stay humble or something.


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Did Michael say anything to you about what had happened?


TT: By this time. Michael arrived on the set and seemed concerned about me. I could see it in his eyes. He even brought it up. He asked ''Are okay?''


I expressed that I did not understand why Joe used that language. It was not so much him yelling at me as much as the language and tone he used. I told Michael that I was a lady and I did not expect treatment like that from anyone. We soon for got about it.

I was just happy that Michael arrived. A bit later La Toya, Michael's sister, and mother Katherine arrived. I wanted to meet them. The thought of meeting more Jacksons was exciting. I remember thinking how close LaToya were in size. She disagreed and said I was even smaller. I did not learn until a year later that we both shared the same middle name, Yvonne. We talked a bit and I discoVered that our favorite vegetable was brocoli as we waited to shoot our group shots.

I met Michael's mother at lunchtime

TR: How did you meet his mother


TT: There I was standing near the end of the buffet line waiting for it to move. I saw Mrs. Jackson at a distance with a friend. Janet seems who later became my hairdresser They started walking twards me. I remeMber thinking Oh MY God! She is coming twards me. Michael's mother and is coming twards me. what do I say? I just could not help but be start struck by her. A s she stood next tome, i only mustered up a shy smile. Janet, introduced us. she said, " Mrs. Jackson this is the girl Michae's working with Tatiana. " I said, " ¸Hi nice to meet you. " Then she went to look at the buffet but never walked away with anything. To be honest, I could not help but to think that she was checking me out. She wanted to see the girl she had heard about. The girl that had captivated Michael's intrest or tweaked Michael's curiosity, and I eventually found out I was correct about her suspicion. She admitted it to me later.

tr:michael talked about you to his mother?

TT:Yes and later in the day, there as an incident that has become a fond memory

We were shooting the scene in which I run from Michael by going through this beat-up car, an d he follows me. It was the second take and by that time I was having much fun with the scene. I madefaces at him in the car and then ran out leaving him stunned.

By our fourth take, the heel of my boot was caught in the cars upholstery and Michael put his hand on my leg to help pull it out. It blew my mind that he had actually touched my leg, which I pulled away and began to tumble out of the car falling on my butt and hard too! Michael started laughing hysterically as Joe Pytka yelled, “Get up, keep it going, keep it going, and don’t stop.” As I did, Michael got out of the car and started wiping my butt off.

I could not believe it! Michael was flirting with me. I thought if anyone questioned his manhood, here was his or her answer. This was a guy who didn’t care about expressing his likeness or attraction to me in front of others. It broke the ice of our shyness between each other and it gave me a rush. We laughed about that one for a while.

The fall caused a run in my stockings and the stylist wanted me to change. I started walking of the set and michael asked, ” Where are you going?” I explained that she wanted me to change my stockings. He disapproved by saying. “No, I like it. I think the run is neat. It’s sexy.” I found that comment was a masuline statement, and personally, I did not think the run would matter.

Howewer, that one moment was the most memorable of the shoot except for the final scene when we hug.It made me realize that my dreams had come true. Michael also said that he loved my walk and that it was very sexy. This I felt for sure was a compliment from a heterosexual male.

Did you two continue talking?

Betwen the break, I admitted to him that I saw him years ago in New York walking ahead of me and that I followed him a few blocks.
He said, ''Oh really? Why didn't you say something? You should have said something.'' Because I was too shy and couldn't think of what to say.


This was truly ironic: I had followed him several years before on the streets of New York and now here he was chasing me in his video.

What happened the rest of the day on the set?

As we continued shooting the car scene, I was choreographed to run towards my girls, while we laughed and made gestures at them:making fun of Michael and the guys. I then walked off, like ''Yeah right,'' and walked around to another car: a Volkswagen where Michael started a game of hide-and-seek.

Next I walked up to a street bench and sat down while he tried to get my attention I tried not to focus on the fact that we were coming close toward the end of the video and I kept trying not to think about it.


How were you feeling that night knowing that the following day would be the last day of the shoot and maybe the last day you would see Michael?


That night as I was lying in bed. It was very sad for me. All I could think about was that tomorrow would be my last, I fell asleep with much sadness in my heart. The morning sun came and I awoke with excitement of seeing Michael's face again.

So how did the last day go?


TT: We began a scene in which I run up to an apartment building, avoiding him again, and then I run back down stairs. Michael told me, “Whatever you do, don’t fall down the stairs or I will start cracking up.” I was thinking what a brat. During a quick break from the scene, Michael pointed out two birds high above us perched on a ledge — they were making love. He said, “Look,” while pointing up. I became embarrassed and shy and I looked away blushing. Michael stood gazing at me with this sweet smirk on his face that was somehow naughty.

what was it like watching Michael dance live and up close?

Watching Michael dance with his group was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever experienced, My dance experience gave me a deep level of appreciation for the opportunity to have been part of all this. I had already seen some of the greatest acclaimed dancers ever-Rudolph Nureyev, Mikhail Baryshnikov and Edward (unreadable). Michael was a perfectionist. I admired how he emulated the mood of the legendary work West Side Story but in his original and completely fresh version.

.....
didn't realize it then but I was falling for him. My heart was growing and my emotions were becoming wrapped up in him.

what are your other memories

Michael had some interesting and exciting guests visit the set. I met Corey Feldman, Emanuel Lewis, and Kadada Jones; Quincy Jones’ daughter. When we were introduced, she was not friendly at all and the only thing I could not figure was that she would have disapproved of any girl Michael chose for his video.


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TR: What happened as you aproached the last scene?

Michael had requested a closed set for the final scene in which we hugged, no one was allowed other than people necessary to th shoot. No dancers, visitors, or extras.

It was quietly rumored that we were supposed to kiss at the end of the video scene but Joe came up to me and whispered in my ear, ''Don't kiss him, he's too shy for that, don't kiss him!'' Therefore, of course I respected his direction.

I would never question an order from the director. As I stood and turned to my right, I looked out to see Michael. He approached me we stared deeply into one another's eyes. I felt as though he could see my sadness and could hear my heart.
He placed his arms around me and mine around him. I remember him stroking my back up and down as to say, ''I care for you too.'' You can see this in the video. I felt it was all happening too quickly.

The weirdest thing about that scene was the way the light hits the water. It actualy made the shape of a heart behind us. Between the scenes, Michael said to me, ''I heard you wanted to dance in this video.'' I admitted it was true and I said ''I thought I would get the opportunity to dance with you.''

Michael replied in a soft and sweet voice, "Don't worry, we'll work together again.'' Suddenly I felt contenet and confedent that his words were true, and my hear felt with joy. However, it did not linger in my mind for long after his promise. I settled for what I got. I mean, how many people even get that clsoe to a deam? I was fortunate, in starring side by side with him. It was the Fred and Ginger of the 80's as far as videos are concerned.

I was thankful to Jesus a million times over, and I knew then that dreams do come true. I have lived a few and I hope many more to come.