Transcript:
Transcribed by Gayle A. Escobar
Disclaimer: I wrote this while listening to the program because I forgot to
bring my tape with me. I did not catch all of the dialogue that was going on. I
also do a lot of paraphrasing throughout the program. I left out parts that
were not directly related to Michael or the Rabbil. I did the best I could and
may have made mistakes. I spent many hours working on this. Please be kind
enough to ask permission before you use it and give me credit.
Howard Stern, Guest Rabbi Boteach- March 30, 2001
Howard introduces the Rabbi and calls him "Bowtox" and "Buttocks"
Robin Quivers: "Michael Jackson is not Jewish"
Howard: "You have been labeled Michael Jackson's personal Rabbi. Why?"
Rabbi: "I don't know. I don't refer to myself that way. I have a present here
from Michael and it's been checked by security, Howard."
Talking to Mike Walker from the National Inquirer. They discuss the dad from
the show "Alf."
Howard: Asks Rabbi why Michael is so involved with kids? Mentions Heal the Kids
and the book club.
Rabbi: "He has a special sensitivity to children. You have a lot in common
Howard. You are both big kids. It's pronounced Botayaachh..you have to have
enough phlegm to be Jewish.
Then they did the contest where they talk about 4 stories from the National
Inquirer and the contestants have to pick which one is false. The 4 stories
were as follows:
1. Ben Afflick helped an old man out of his car after he ran off the road onto
Ben's property.
2. Keanu Reeves tried to go into a Mexican restaurant and was told, "No shoes
no frijoles" and he bought someone's sneakers to get in.
3. Billy Bob Thornton paid for a whole theater production so the actors could
showcase their talent.
4. Jackie Chan was slammed in the nose by a fan.
Rabbi's guess: The Ben Afflick story
Robin's guess: The Jackie Chan story
Howard's guess: Billy Bob Thornton
Al Pacino's Baby guess: ??
Al Pacino's Baby started babbling about a trip to Neverland and referred to it
as a "scary trip."
Howard asks the Rabbi about his schooling.
Rabbi: "I went to school on the internet" Laughs hardily. "I'm just kidding.
I'm an orthodox Rabbi. Went to ?? school in NY City."
Howard asks if he is opposed to gays.
Rabbi: I'm not against gays; my brother is gay."
Howard asks if it is a sin to be gay?
Rabbi: It's a sin but a sin like eating a cheeseburger at McDonalds.
Turns out that the Rabbi's guess was right for the National Inquirer game.
Rabbi: "Do I win something? Do I get a prize?"
Howard does a plug for the Rabbi's book, "A Psychic and a Rabbi" and a plug for
his debate with Reverend Al Sharpton. Plug for seminarcenter.com.
They get into a big discussion about blacks and Jews and their relationship
through the years and Howard says that blacks receive the most support from
Jews and for some reason blacks resent Jews. Robin points out that in
conversations she has with other black people, they always want to know if
someone is Jewish.
Rabbi: "My closest friends are black- Michael."
Howard: Laughs and says, "Michael is whiter than you."
They start talking about the present from Michael to Howard. Rabbi tells Howard
to open it.
Howard asks Rabbi what religion Michael is?
Rabbi: "He was raised a Jehovah's Witness but now he has a "religion of the
world" type attitude."
Howard: "How many days a week do you see him? Does he teach you to dance?"
Rabbi: "I taught him the moonwalk." Laughs
Howard opens the present from Michael. It's Howard's book, "Miss America." He
opens to the chapter about Michael and Michael wrote Howard a note. Howard
starts to read it. Howard: "I'm not too..what does this say???"
Rabbi: "Here Howard, I'll read it to you. Howard, I just found you the best
present in the world. I thought you'd find it humorous. I did."
Howard and the Rabbi get into a discussion about why Michael gave him his own
book. The Rabbi says that Michael just wanted Howard to realize that he found
it humorous. "Michael has a sense of humor."
Al Pacino's baby asked the Rabbi some questions.
"Is this the Rabbi?" Rabbi: "Yes"
"Is today Friday?" Rabbi: "Yes"
"Are you attracted to me?" Rabbi: "Yes, you were like a magnet as soon as I
came into the room."
Howard: "When did you meet Michael?"
Rabbi: "2 years ago. Michael's been in NY for 4-5 months working on his new
album. I see him a few times a week. We're working on a book together about how
adults can be more childlike."
Howard: "No one wants to emulate Michael Jackson. Does Michael tell the truth?"
Rabbi: "Yes, he always does." Then he talks about Heal the Kids, Carnegie Hall,
Oxford and mentions that Michael gave a 45-minute speech.
Howard: "What do you guys do? Play games? Does he teach you to dance?"
Rabbi: "I imitated one of his moves and I tore a ligament. Michael's very
playful. He's into practical jokes."
Howard: "What kind of jokes? Do you play jokes on him?"
Rabbi: "I put a bucket full of water on top of the door and when he opened it,
it fell on him."
Howard: "What a metal pail fell on his head?" Laughter
Rabbi: "No, a small plastic pail. Michael and I sat down and had a discussion
about you, Howard. He thinks you are funny but he doesn't understand why you
were so mean to him after your meeting."
Howard: "We're here with Rabbi Shmulock "Is Michael gay?"
Rabbi: "Michael is firmly heterosexual."
Howard: "How do you know?"
Rabbi: "Because he's always saying to me that there is a beautiful woman. He
and I talk about him not having many dates and it's because he doesn't know if
they are interested in his money and celebrity or whether they have a genuine
interest in him. He's a romantic."
Howard: "What about Debbie Rowe? Were they together when you met Michael?"
Rabbi: "They were just coming apart then."
Howard: "What about his kids?"
Rabbi: "His kids are beautiful." He starts talking about when Michael met Katie
Couric. He said that Michael commented that Katie is the kind of woman he wants
to meet, smart, pretty, acted like herself in front of him. Since Michael is so
shy, he asked me to ask her if she wanted to have coffee with him.
Howard: Interrupts and says, "Did he father those kids?"
Rabbi: "Of course. Prince looks like his father. He has Michael's eyes, the
same blotches on his skin."
Howard: "What did Katie say?"
Rabbi: "That she was flattered but was currently dating someone."
Howard asks about seeing Michael without his mask and disguise. "Are you
disgusted by his nose?"
Rabbi: "No, Im not disgusted by his nose. And these stories are ridiculous. He
has one nanny, not 12."
Howard asks about his hair and Robin babbles about it being a weave. "Does he
have a hole in his nose?," Howard asks.
Rabbi: "There are no holes in his nose. I don't know about his hair."
Howard asks about the Rabbi's family and their trip to Neverland.
Rabbi: "I'm married with 7 children and we were invited to Neverland. My whole
family stayed there."
Howard: "Would you let your children stay with Michael?"
Rabbi: "Yes, I would. There was one kid that accused Michael. Just one."
Howard: "What about this story about Michael and Macauley Culkin cuddling in
bed in London?"
Rabbi: "Yeah, it's true. I was there. Michael, Macauley, and I were in bed
cuddling with a cardboard cutout of you, Howard."
Howard grills the Rabbi and asks him if he was there 100% of the time? Were
they in bed cuddling or not?
Rabbi: "Absolutely not. They invent everything. I was there 80% of the time
with Macauley and Michael. The gloves fit my hands. Based on my knowledge of
the friendship, NO" (referring to whether Michael was in bed with Macauley)
Howard asks what the charity is all about and if Michael calls him "Shmuley"
Rabbi: "The whole premise is that kids deserve time with their parents. Michael
calls me "Shmuley."
Caller question: "How can you not deal with the abuse from Michael's father?"
Rabbi: "I am a product of divorce and therefore, Michael and I have a lot in
common. Michael has come to terms with his father. If you hate your father, you
hate a part of yourself."
Caller: "But what about the sexual abuse?"
Howard chimes in that they do not know if there was in fact, sexual abuse in
the family. The caller comments that one of the other family members said so on
his program. Howard said, "yeah but that was LaToya. Who knows where her head
is at?"
Rabbi: "He had a tough childhood but he's quite humble."
Some other caller (sounded like a doctor or psychologist...not sure) mumbled a
whole bunch of stuff about some disease called "Body dimorphic" something???
Talked about how someone who's not happy with themselves makes a total
metamorphosis. Talked about how Michael looks like a woman now.
Rabbi: "So, if he had tattoos all over his body and bedded a different woman
every night, would that be more acceptable for you?"
Howard: "Does Michael pay you?"
Rabbi: "Not a penny."
Howard: "Does he rent an entire floor in the hotel?"
Rabbi: "No, it's a small suite. He's been in there for 4-5 months. The kids are
in a room next door with the nanny."
Howard: "Do you think you are a shrill (?) for Michael? Do you get other
rewards? Does he buy you things?"
Rabbi: "He let us stay in Neverland but we paid our own way to get there. He
bought me a TV for my birthday and a suit for Chanukah." I think the Rabbi said
again that Michael thinks he's funny and that if he would just admit it to
Michael, everything would be OK (referring to the book).
Howard: "I was just being funny. Now Michael, come into the studio." To the
Rabbi, "I believe that you are really Michael Jackson in disguise."
Rabbi: "Ooooowwww" "He's not really a recluse. He's been to 30 public events in
the last few months."
Howard: "Does the mom see the kids?"
Rabbi: "Sometimes"
Howard: "Is Michael circumcised?"
Rabbi: "No idea."
Rabbi: "He has an interest in Judaism because he had a Jewish tutor named, Rose
Fein. He even knew what the Talmud was. He's very down to earth. He doesn't
flaunt his wealth. He comes to our house for Sabbath dinner. He believes in
family." He also mentioned that the hotel has a dance floor in the next room
for Michael to practice.
Howard: Plugs Rabbi's book. Calls him "Shmu LIE" this time. Mentions the book
is called, "A Rabbi and a Psychic." It's Source books and can order at
Amazon.com
Rabbi: Mentions that the book with Michael should be out by the end of the
year. They do not have a publisher yet.
It was time for goodbye until Mike Walker from the Inquirer called back wanting
to talk to the Rabbi. He sounded very angry and said that it was very
irresponsible for the Rabbi to say that he would let his kids stay alone with
Michael. He called Michael a liar. Said Michael lied to Oprah Winfrey when he
said that story about the pictures in the Oxygen chamber. Said Michael gave
them those pictures with the condition that they call him "bizarre." The Rabbi
said he encourages Michael to be open and honest with the press. He clarified
that he loves his children and wants his children with him at all times but
that he trusts Michael with his children 1000%. He clarified that he would not
let them stay with anyone alone, not just because he's Michael and he's had
allegations against him. The Rabbi made the point that in 30 years, no other
child has come forward. Mike Walker claims that they have talked to other
children and there were others that the Rabbi didn't know about
because "he came into it too late in the game." He also mentioned a "secret
tunnel" to Michael's bedroom. When the Rabbi said that Michael loves children,
Mike Walker said, "Yeah well, Hitler loved his dog. I don't like Michael
Jackson. He's a liar." Al Pacino's Baby said, "Mike Walker is an angry bitch."
The Rabbi encourages Mike Walker to meet with Michael so he can have a
different perspective of him.
Transcribed by Gayle A. Escobar
Disclaimer: I wrote this while listening to the program because I forgot to
bring my tape with me. I did not catch all of the dialogue that was going on. I
also do a lot of paraphrasing throughout the program. I left out parts that
were not directly related to Michael or the Rabbil. I did the best I could and
may have made mistakes. I spent many hours working on this. Please be kind
enough to ask permission before you use it and give me credit.
Howard Stern, Guest Rabbi Boteach- March 30, 2001
Howard introduces the Rabbi and calls him "Bowtox" and "Buttocks"
Robin Quivers: "Michael Jackson is not Jewish"
Howard: "You have been labeled Michael Jackson's personal Rabbi. Why?"
Rabbi: "I don't know. I don't refer to myself that way. I have a present here
from Michael and it's been checked by security, Howard."
Talking to Mike Walker from the National Inquirer. They discuss the dad from
the show "Alf."
Howard: Asks Rabbi why Michael is so involved with kids? Mentions Heal the Kids
and the book club.
Rabbi: "He has a special sensitivity to children. You have a lot in common
Howard. You are both big kids. It's pronounced Botayaachh..you have to have
enough phlegm to be Jewish.
Then they did the contest where they talk about 4 stories from the National
Inquirer and the contestants have to pick which one is false. The 4 stories
were as follows:
1. Ben Afflick helped an old man out of his car after he ran off the road onto
Ben's property.
2. Keanu Reeves tried to go into a Mexican restaurant and was told, "No shoes
no frijoles" and he bought someone's sneakers to get in.
3. Billy Bob Thornton paid for a whole theater production so the actors could
showcase their talent.
4. Jackie Chan was slammed in the nose by a fan.
Rabbi's guess: The Ben Afflick story
Robin's guess: The Jackie Chan story
Howard's guess: Billy Bob Thornton
Al Pacino's Baby guess: ??
Al Pacino's Baby started babbling about a trip to Neverland and referred to it
as a "scary trip."
Howard asks the Rabbi about his schooling.
Rabbi: "I went to school on the internet" Laughs hardily. "I'm just kidding.
I'm an orthodox Rabbi. Went to ?? school in NY City."
Howard asks if he is opposed to gays.
Rabbi: I'm not against gays; my brother is gay."
Howard asks if it is a sin to be gay?
Rabbi: It's a sin but a sin like eating a cheeseburger at McDonalds.
Turns out that the Rabbi's guess was right for the National Inquirer game.
Rabbi: "Do I win something? Do I get a prize?"
Howard does a plug for the Rabbi's book, "A Psychic and a Rabbi" and a plug for
his debate with Reverend Al Sharpton. Plug for seminarcenter.com.
They get into a big discussion about blacks and Jews and their relationship
through the years and Howard says that blacks receive the most support from
Jews and for some reason blacks resent Jews. Robin points out that in
conversations she has with other black people, they always want to know if
someone is Jewish.
Rabbi: "My closest friends are black- Michael."
Howard: Laughs and says, "Michael is whiter than you."
They start talking about the present from Michael to Howard. Rabbi tells Howard
to open it.
Howard asks Rabbi what religion Michael is?
Rabbi: "He was raised a Jehovah's Witness but now he has a "religion of the
world" type attitude."
Howard: "How many days a week do you see him? Does he teach you to dance?"
Rabbi: "I taught him the moonwalk." Laughs
Howard opens the present from Michael. It's Howard's book, "Miss America." He
opens to the chapter about Michael and Michael wrote Howard a note. Howard
starts to read it. Howard: "I'm not too..what does this say???"
Rabbi: "Here Howard, I'll read it to you. Howard, I just found you the best
present in the world. I thought you'd find it humorous. I did."
Howard and the Rabbi get into a discussion about why Michael gave him his own
book. The Rabbi says that Michael just wanted Howard to realize that he found
it humorous. "Michael has a sense of humor."
Al Pacino's baby asked the Rabbi some questions.
"Is this the Rabbi?" Rabbi: "Yes"
"Is today Friday?" Rabbi: "Yes"
"Are you attracted to me?" Rabbi: "Yes, you were like a magnet as soon as I
came into the room."
Howard: "When did you meet Michael?"
Rabbi: "2 years ago. Michael's been in NY for 4-5 months working on his new
album. I see him a few times a week. We're working on a book together about how
adults can be more childlike."
Howard: "No one wants to emulate Michael Jackson. Does Michael tell the truth?"
Rabbi: "Yes, he always does." Then he talks about Heal the Kids, Carnegie Hall,
Oxford and mentions that Michael gave a 45-minute speech.
Howard: "What do you guys do? Play games? Does he teach you to dance?"
Rabbi: "I imitated one of his moves and I tore a ligament. Michael's very
playful. He's into practical jokes."
Howard: "What kind of jokes? Do you play jokes on him?"
Rabbi: "I put a bucket full of water on top of the door and when he opened it,
it fell on him."
Howard: "What a metal pail fell on his head?" Laughter
Rabbi: "No, a small plastic pail. Michael and I sat down and had a discussion
about you, Howard. He thinks you are funny but he doesn't understand why you
were so mean to him after your meeting."
Howard: "We're here with Rabbi Shmulock "Is Michael gay?"
Rabbi: "Michael is firmly heterosexual."
Howard: "How do you know?"
Rabbi: "Because he's always saying to me that there is a beautiful woman. He
and I talk about him not having many dates and it's because he doesn't know if
they are interested in his money and celebrity or whether they have a genuine
interest in him. He's a romantic."
Howard: "What about Debbie Rowe? Were they together when you met Michael?"
Rabbi: "They were just coming apart then."
Howard: "What about his kids?"
Rabbi: "His kids are beautiful." He starts talking about when Michael met Katie
Couric. He said that Michael commented that Katie is the kind of woman he wants
to meet, smart, pretty, acted like herself in front of him. Since Michael is so
shy, he asked me to ask her if she wanted to have coffee with him.
Howard: Interrupts and says, "Did he father those kids?"
Rabbi: "Of course. Prince looks like his father. He has Michael's eyes, the
same blotches on his skin."
Howard: "What did Katie say?"
Rabbi: "That she was flattered but was currently dating someone."
Howard asks about seeing Michael without his mask and disguise. "Are you
disgusted by his nose?"
Rabbi: "No, Im not disgusted by his nose. And these stories are ridiculous. He
has one nanny, not 12."
Howard asks about his hair and Robin babbles about it being a weave. "Does he
have a hole in his nose?," Howard asks.
Rabbi: "There are no holes in his nose. I don't know about his hair."
Howard asks about the Rabbi's family and their trip to Neverland.
Rabbi: "I'm married with 7 children and we were invited to Neverland. My whole
family stayed there."
Howard: "Would you let your children stay with Michael?"
Rabbi: "Yes, I would. There was one kid that accused Michael. Just one."
Howard: "What about this story about Michael and Macauley Culkin cuddling in
bed in London?"
Rabbi: "Yeah, it's true. I was there. Michael, Macauley, and I were in bed
cuddling with a cardboard cutout of you, Howard."
Howard grills the Rabbi and asks him if he was there 100% of the time? Were
they in bed cuddling or not?
Rabbi: "Absolutely not. They invent everything. I was there 80% of the time
with Macauley and Michael. The gloves fit my hands. Based on my knowledge of
the friendship, NO" (referring to whether Michael was in bed with Macauley)
Howard asks what the charity is all about and if Michael calls him "Shmuley"
Rabbi: "The whole premise is that kids deserve time with their parents. Michael
calls me "Shmuley."
Caller question: "How can you not deal with the abuse from Michael's father?"
Rabbi: "I am a product of divorce and therefore, Michael and I have a lot in
common. Michael has come to terms with his father. If you hate your father, you
hate a part of yourself."
Caller: "But what about the sexual abuse?"
Howard chimes in that they do not know if there was in fact, sexual abuse in
the family. The caller comments that one of the other family members said so on
his program. Howard said, "yeah but that was LaToya. Who knows where her head
is at?"
Rabbi: "He had a tough childhood but he's quite humble."
Some other caller (sounded like a doctor or psychologist...not sure) mumbled a
whole bunch of stuff about some disease called "Body dimorphic" something???
Talked about how someone who's not happy with themselves makes a total
metamorphosis. Talked about how Michael looks like a woman now.
Rabbi: "So, if he had tattoos all over his body and bedded a different woman
every night, would that be more acceptable for you?"
Howard: "Does Michael pay you?"
Rabbi: "Not a penny."
Howard: "Does he rent an entire floor in the hotel?"
Rabbi: "No, it's a small suite. He's been in there for 4-5 months. The kids are
in a room next door with the nanny."
Howard: "Do you think you are a shrill (?) for Michael? Do you get other
rewards? Does he buy you things?"
Rabbi: "He let us stay in Neverland but we paid our own way to get there. He
bought me a TV for my birthday and a suit for Chanukah." I think the Rabbi said
again that Michael thinks he's funny and that if he would just admit it to
Michael, everything would be OK (referring to the book).
Howard: "I was just being funny. Now Michael, come into the studio." To the
Rabbi, "I believe that you are really Michael Jackson in disguise."
Rabbi: "Ooooowwww" "He's not really a recluse. He's been to 30 public events in
the last few months."
Howard: "Does the mom see the kids?"
Rabbi: "Sometimes"
Howard: "Is Michael circumcised?"
Rabbi: "No idea."
Rabbi: "He has an interest in Judaism because he had a Jewish tutor named, Rose
Fein. He even knew what the Talmud was. He's very down to earth. He doesn't
flaunt his wealth. He comes to our house for Sabbath dinner. He believes in
family." He also mentioned that the hotel has a dance floor in the next room
for Michael to practice.
Howard: Plugs Rabbi's book. Calls him "Shmu LIE" this time. Mentions the book
is called, "A Rabbi and a Psychic." It's Source books and can order at
Amazon.com
Rabbi: Mentions that the book with Michael should be out by the end of the
year. They do not have a publisher yet.
It was time for goodbye until Mike Walker from the Inquirer called back wanting
to talk to the Rabbi. He sounded very angry and said that it was very
irresponsible for the Rabbi to say that he would let his kids stay alone with
Michael. He called Michael a liar. Said Michael lied to Oprah Winfrey when he
said that story about the pictures in the Oxygen chamber. Said Michael gave
them those pictures with the condition that they call him "bizarre." The Rabbi
said he encourages Michael to be open and honest with the press. He clarified
that he loves his children and wants his children with him at all times but
that he trusts Michael with his children 1000%. He clarified that he would not
let them stay with anyone alone, not just because he's Michael and he's had
allegations against him. The Rabbi made the point that in 30 years, no other
child has come forward. Mike Walker claims that they have talked to other
children and there were others that the Rabbi didn't know about
because "he came into it too late in the game." He also mentioned a "secret
tunnel" to Michael's bedroom. When the Rabbi said that Michael loves children,
Mike Walker said, "Yeah well, Hitler loved his dog. I don't like Michael
Jackson. He's a liar." Al Pacino's Baby said, "Mike Walker is an angry bitch."
The Rabbi encourages Mike Walker to meet with Michael so he can have a
different perspective of him.
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